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May
7
Hillary Concedes Defeat - Endorses McCain
May 7, 2008 | Tagged 2008, barack obama, election, hillary clinton, john mccain, president |
In a surprising move, Hillary Clinton has conceded defeat in the race for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. Realizing that she no longer had a chance to obtain her party’s nomination, she thanked her supporters and admonished them that there was still much more work to do to keep the White House in experienced hands.
During her speech, she shocked voters by giving her endorsement to her potential rival Senator John McCain, the Republican nominee for President.
When questioned after her speech why she decided to endorse Senator McCain, she replied that he has previously championed policies important to her and her constituents.
Senator McCain championed a limited speech initiative (McCain-Feingold) which allowed liberal organizations to gain prominence and influence in the political sphere.
When asked how this endorsement will help the children and the poor, Hillary responded,
Senator McCain stood firm against enormous pressure while the rest of his Republican colleagues supported the Bush Tax Cuts which has ruined our economy over the past eight years.
Confused, reporters then asked about her committment to helping undocumented Americans, the Senator from New York replied,
Senator McCain has fought against the bigotted and racist elements of his party for some time including supporting a bill (McCain-Kennedy) while trying to obtain freedom for these downtrodden souls.
Trying to press her for the reasons she’s abandoning the party that had supported her and her husband for so long, they asked, “What about the grave danger to our environment?”, to which she replied,
Senator McCain has been a strong supporter of cap-n-trade and other carbon-limiting strategies (McCain-Lieberman), and I believe will continue to fight to keep Mother Earth safe from the evil corporations that are set to destroy her.
Unable to shake her determination, they then asked about McCain’s support for the impeachment of her husband, former President Bill Clinton, she replied,
Senator McCain did exactly what I would’ve done in the same situation. If I’d been a senator at that time, I’d have voted to boot the SOB out myself.
At press time, Senator McCain was unavailable for comment. Since it wasn’t 3:00am, Senator Obama wasn’t available either.
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I love this piece. It is hilarious and just perfect for the week. :>)